Crash Into Me
by sweetdetection
Summary: AU oneshot, set between Callista's departure and Spector of the Past.   Loneliness descends on the Jedi Master as he realizes that he might be in love again  with Mara.  Who is, according to the rest of the galaxy, seeing Lando.


NOTE: This is for Monday Mush Mania, and it's a bit longer than I'd intended…but I hope everyone enjoys it!

TIMEFRAME: This is an AU story set shortly after Callista leaves Luke and Mara and Lando begin their 'relationship.' It is not a part of canonized STAR WARS fiction.

DISCLAIMER: all property of George Lucas and Lucasfilm LTD.

LYRICAL CREDIT: "Crash" by Dave Matthew's Band

* * *

**Crash Into Me**

* * *

_T_he holo lied discarded on the bed, silent now that it had imparted its undesired information. Standing on the balcony overlooking the endless city that was the planet Coruscant, Luke Skywalker could feel the pulsing life of all the people below him. Their presence was nearly overpowering, reminding him as always that he was merely part of a vast whole. A single, small part. It was a humbling thought, tinged with an unshakable sadness -- a sadness that had seemed a part of him since Callista had simply left. His head dropped, a heavy sigh escaping him before he thought to suppress the reaction. But who was here to ask him what was wrong? His sister and brother-in-law had escaped their duties and taken off to Wayland with the kids, supposedly on a diplomatic visit to the Noghri, but actually to enjoy a vacation. The Rogues, now almost entirely tamed by wives, were scattered across the planet. And Mara…

He could feel her, so damnably _close._ It was so rare that the two of them were on the same planet, so rare that they both had a moment to themselves. And yet he couldn't bring himself to hail her, either through the comm or the Force, even though she was here, in the Palace. She would have contacted him by now if she'd been at all interested in his company. And he had no illusions about her interests now. Of course, the match had surprised him…but then, in an odd way, it made a sort of sense. After all, Luke had failed to meet a woman not charmed by the dashing Lando Calrissian. He'd always thought of Mara as….well, more sensible than that. But then again, what woman didn't like being treated like the center of the galaxy? And that, of course, was Lando's well-practiced specialty.

Wrapping his cloak more tightly around him, Luke searched for the calm that seemed to dance just beyond the edges of his thoughts. It eluded him, and suddenly it felt as if the whole galaxy was laughing at him. What had he been thinking, letting his heart get the best of him again? Hadn't Callista taught him _anything?_

_Apparently not_, he thought in disgust, giving up on brightening his mood. He started to pace, and found his balcony ridiculously constraining. Full of restless energy, as he usually was when Mara was anywhere in the same star system, Luke left his apartments and decided to lose himself in the city. He could keep a low profile with the aid of the Force, and perhaps he'd even run into the beautiful, sprightly trader…

She would definitely take off his arm for thinking about her that way. With a slight grimace, he focused on masking his identity so he could enjoy his walk. Earlier, he'd watched as a reporter on the holo covered some sparking gala, a tribute to Lando's most recent triumph as an entrepreneur. Something to do with mining…Luke had stopped trying to keep up with the ex-smuggler. Lando changed business ventures as often as he changed his cape, and every undertaking seemed to bring the man new and immediate success. And who had arrived on his arm for this latest celebration of his wealth, but Mara Jade. Speculation had erupted anew immediately, but Luke had heard it all before. Rumors had been spreading for months now regarding the romantic status of the Rebellion's heroic ex-general and the Emperor's ex-deadliest assassin.

But could Lando ever completely understand her? Luke didn't think so. She was too adept in the Force, too gifted, and Lando could never challenge her there. He could never match her star-bright presence in the Force, he could never understand just how strong she was, how much potential she had, how truly beautiful her spirit was.

Luke did, of course. He understood to a degree that was painful. She was everything: beautiful and bright and brave, unbreakable and loyal, a beacon of righteousness in a decidedly unrighteous galaxy.

Of course, that meant little -- he would never be _more_ for Mara. He'd known that from the very beginning -- since the moment he'd first seen her on the _Wild Karrde_. It was an impossible daydream, of course it was, even though she'd awakened things in him he hadn't known had been asleep.

He relished in the bite of the night air, hoping it would help him clear his mind. And maybe cool his head… He couldn't help but hold a small bit of resentment toward Lando, which brought with it a tide of guilt. Luke had no claim over Mara -- if she wanted to be with Lando, who was he to dispute her choice?

He had to be careful not to let his shields slip. This close, and Mara would pick up on his thoughts without even having to try. It was frustrating, always having to be so careful. He knew that he could trust her with every part of him, every bit of who he was, but to do that he'd have to admit that he was in love with her, and he just wasn't ready for her rejection yet. Or ever. It had been bad enough when it had been Callista, and she'd never touched his being the way Mara had. They were entwined in each other, Force-bound, in silken ties that only tightened the harder he tried to pull away.

_I've got to get over this,_ he thought, in a kind of desperate anguish he hadn't felt since learning that his father was Darth Vader. _But how, how do I cut myself away from someone who is so inescapably a part of me?_

Slowly, he became aware that he was being followed. Feeling the hairs on the back of his neck tingle, his fingers sought the reassuring grip of his lightsaber even as his mind stretched out to identify the tail and their intentions. He nearly fell over when he realized who it was. It seemed impossible considering how constantly aware of her he usually was, but Mara Jade had managed to sneak up on him. He slowed to a stop, still trying to determine just when he'd gotten so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't felt her approach, and waited for her to catch up.

Her chuckle washed over him, a little wry. His eyes drank her in hungrily in spite of himself, his heart tripping in his chest at the sight of her familiar body, the fiery hair, the dancing emerald eyes. Their Force-senses mingled in the air, not pushing or probing, merely _there._ Suddenly, the peace that had eluded him most of the night came over him, soothing the ache even if it didn't diminish it.

"So who're you trying to fool, Skywalker?" she asked, amusement evident in her tone. Luke shrugged almost bashfully -- did he always have to feel like the farmboy he was when she was around?

"No one really, I just didn't want to be interrupted on my walk," he replied, striving for casualness and falling somehow just short. He sighed inwardly -- it was no use trying to act cool, she knew him better than that anyway.

"You've been in a fine mood." At his questioning look, Mara lifted a shoulder nonchalantly. "Maybe you're usually better at hiding it, but tonight you're broadcasting loud and clear."

He flushed helplessly. He should have known their bond was stronger than that. How many times had he been able to pick up on her moods, no matter how efficient her shielding was?

"There's a lot on my mind," he replied, knowing that the vague answer would do little to satisfy her, but also aware that to narrow it down any further would probably open a thread of discussion he wasn't prepared for. "I thought you were at that party. You know, with Lando."

She spread open the folds of her cloak, revealing an elegant gown the same impossible green as her eyes. His breath caught in his throat, his blue eyes widening. _Stars, she always manages to take my breath away._

"I left early," she explained, feeling a strange sort of elation at his reaction. She didn't know why, but watching Luke's jaw hit the floor was immensely pleasing. She'd known when she'd made the selection that he would approve, although she hadn't been expecting quite that expression on his face. "You didn't go."

"I…" Luke shook his head. "I didn't feel quite up to it."

"I know." Mara watched him struggle to regain control, her head tilted slightly. "That's why I left early."

Luke found his breath again as Mara let her cloak fall back into place, shielding her curves from his eyes. He ran through a Jedi calming technique, but found it wasn't helping much.

"You didn't have to," he protested lamely, rejoicing inside at the thought of her caring enough for him to come find him. Her answering smile was almost knowing, and she shrugged as she glanced away.

"When you're upset, it's usually important." She chuckled again, making his skin tingle. "Actually, it's usually because the galaxy as we know it is about to be destroyed."

Luke pulled a face at her. "Don't be so dramatic," he scolded. Caught off guard, Mara threw her head back and, for the first time this evening, truly laughed. It was one of the sounds Luke cherished most in the galaxy, a rare gift she bestowed upon him during private moments, when they were just Farmboy and Jade. She had a happy laugh; it bubbled out of her, musical and carefree.

He couldn't help it, he joined in, caught up in the spell she seemed to weave around him. Still fighting for breath and losing the battle to control her giggles, she unexpectedly reached out and gave his arm a squeeze. Another rare gift -- Mara didn't often touch him, except in the moments she wished to emphasize. He covered her hand with his own and pressed her palm to his arm, grinning at her boyishly.

"Well, you _were_ being dramatic," he replied. That sent her into fresh peels of mirth, and he winked at her when she glanced at his twinkling blue eyes. He felt about three trillion times better, and all it had taken was a few minutes in her company.

"I was merely pointing out the overwhelmingly familiar path your life seems to take. There's some new crisis what, every year now?" Suddenly, she realized she was looking up at him. Really looking up at him, as in close enough to need to be tilting her head back quite a bit in order to meet his gaze. And his chin was tilted down, a smile still curving those lips…

_Whoa now, Jade._ She blinked. Okay, so he smelled like soap and sunshine and _Luke_, but that was no reason to start thinking about his lips. What in Corellia's seven hells had come over her, anyway? She'd ditched Lando with hardly a word and stalked through Coruscant's streets until she'd found him, looking somewhat diminished and heartbroken.

Heartbroken. She bit back a sigh. Luke, always optimistic and always enthusiastic when it came to everyone else, had no one to keep him company on nights like this. She could feel the loneliness weighing down on him and her own heart broke a little for his sake. She touched him through the Force, gently at first, and then with greater confidence. She brushed the edges of his Force-sense, then stroked, watching as his blue eyes came up to her face slowly. His lips parted, just slightly, as he relaxed his shields and tentatively let her deeper into him.

"Maybe I was. But dramatics and you go hand-in-hand, Skywalker," she said out loud, trying to alleviate the suddenly more sober mood. His lips quirked, then turned up into a real smile.

"'Suppose that's true enough." He shrugged, a little self-conscious. "Keeps me in shape."

_Oh yes, that it does,_ she agreed, carefully shielding the thought as her eyes involuntarily ran over his trim form. Then she looked away quickly. Perhaps she was coming down with something…?

But he'd caught her assessment of him, and she could feel the sudden heat of his flush. A quick peek revealed he'd gone red to the tips of his ears. If she hadn't been so busy blushing herself, she might have teased him about it.

"Mara?" he squeaked.

"I think you need to find a new workout routine, Skywalker, before you get me killed in a rescue attempt." She tried to breathe herself into a state of calm, ignoring the baffled ( and perhaps just a little hopeful? But then maybe somebody had slipped something into her drink back at the party… ) look on his face.

But her diversion worked. Indignant, Luke puffed out his chest a bit, his chin going up cockily -- a Rogue at heart, obviously. "I don't need to be rescued, Mara. Remember? I do the rescuing."

She arched a brow, one side of her lips curving up into a little smirk. "Oh really?"

He hesitated, pondering. Then he deflated a bit and offered a somewhat rueful smile. "Okay, _sometimes_ I need rescuing. But it's not my fault!"

"Now you're just channeling Solo." She tapped her finger against her chin. "Let's see, I seem to remember shooting vornskrs off of you while we trekked halfway across Myrkr after you got us both wrecked in those Skiprays, then I remember saving you from that crazy Jedi guy not once, but _twice_, and after that there was the time that you had me flying all over the known universe trying to --"

"I get the picture," he commented dryly, cutting into her rather lengthy list. She tossed him a dazzling smile, which he returned. Then a troubled frown flitted across his face. "Stars…am I really that much of a damsel in distress?"

That did it. Mara doubled over laughing, a sudden and altogether too vivid picture of the New Republic's vaunted Jedi Master bemoaning his fate in a big, fluffy dress rising in her mind's eye.

"Mara!"

Apparently, he had seen that little mental image of hers as well. She only laughed harder. He was pouting, his eyes almost-hurt behind the reluctant amusement.

"Well…am I?"

"Sometimes, Skywalker," she managed between giggles. "Just sometimes."

He pouted even more, his arms snaking across his chest, a perfect mimicry of the stance his nephew Anakin took when he was being particularly defiant.

"Are you done laughing at me now?" he demanded. Mara nodded, trying to relax the now-aching muscles in her stomach. She shook her head, a wide smile still plastered on her face.

"At the moment, anyway." She eyeballed him speculatively. "Are you feeling better?"

He nodded -- she always had the cure, his Mara.

His Mara. It had a nice ring to it.

"Although if you keep laughing at me, I might not feel better for long." And if she'd caught anything of his thoughts, he'd probably be dead soon, regardless. But he couldn't keep from smiling. Luke had always been able to laugh at himself -- he supposed it was a byproduct of spending so much time with Han. It was hard to take anything in the galaxy seriously when Han was in one of his moods. And he was his brother-in-law's favorite target. Well, him and Threepio, anyway.

"Good, glad to hear it. Now, about this loneliness…"

"Ah, Jade…" He squirmed like a small boy. "I'm just missing my family, that's all."

_-Skywalker. I can hear your thoughts, remember?_-

_-What is it you're always telling me? Something along the lines of stay ou-- -_

_-Oh, stop sulking. You're a grown up. Mostly.-_

"Sulking? I'm not sulking." He was uncomfortable with just how well she could read him through the Force.

Mara rolled her eyes. "Like a five-year-old who just found out he can't have dessert before dinner," she shot back. "Seriously. I know your sister's always harping on you to settle down and have a hundred little Jedi kids, but come on. I know you hate being alone and there's no reason for it. You're Luke Skywalker. Most eligible bachelor in the galaxy."

Luke blanched, suddenly pale. "Most…most _what?_"

She grinned evilly. "Most eligible bachelor in the galaxy. But don't take my word for it. A recent poll over the holonet confirmed it last week."

He groaned and covered his face with his hands. "I'm doomed." His voice was muffled, but otherwise it was an uncanny imitation of Threepio. Mara's grin widened at his misery.

"So maybe take advantage of it, go on a date or something. Stop wandering around with a dark little cloud floating above your head," she suggested. Luke lifted his gaze back to her, his hands dropping to his sides. His eyes narrowed just slightly -- Mara didn't normally pass out relationship advice, and she _never_ did when it concerned his relationships. Oh, unless she was pointing out their flaws. Which she did a lot, now that he thought about it. In fact, every time he got romantically involved, she made it a point to list all the reasons it was doomed for failure and then she disappeared until he wound up single again. Then she was there, with her own special brand of get-your-ass-back-into-the-real-world comfort.

It always worked, too.

"Ya know, Jade, it's funny to hear that out of you. You never seem to like the women I date."

He regretted it the minute it was out of his mouth. Mara's eyes narrowed and he could sense that he was in danger even without the Force.

"Watch it," she warned. He spread his hands, a gesture of compliance. But his mouth had decided to run away with itself.

"You can't deny it. In fact…" He paused, then barreled on. He was already in trouble, might as well go ahead and lay all of the chips out on the sabacc table. "In fact, I think you're jealous, Jade."

He didn't know where his burst of bravery came from. He didn't think he'd live long enough to find out, either, because Mara was suddenly _very_ close and _very_ unhappy with him. He swallowed, his blue eyes wide, and he silently pondered saying his final goodbyes to his sister through the Force.

"You are so unbelievably arrogant and so completely off base…" She was all but sputtering. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't chop off something a bit more significant than your hand."

If he hadn't been so convinced that she'd do it, Luke might have laughed. He simply made a small noise indicating his docile surprise. Then, gathering his courage again, he weakly cleared his throat.

"Uhm…because you like my straight-out, farm boy honesty?" he murmured, his voice a little thin thanks to an onslaught of nerves.

Mara paused, completely taken aback by his unexpected answer, and then she rocked back on her heels. He took a deep breath. Had he really managed to revert certain death at the hands of his beautiful assassin? He didn't think it would work twice, but here he was, still breathing. Either she was plotting the most effective way of taking him down, or else it just wasn't his time to become one with the Force yet.

"Or else--" He winked at her roguishly, the small and still-functioning part of his mind wondering if he'd gone _completely_ mad-- "you just think I'm cute."

Oh, he'd done it. He'd absolutely just gone and made it worse, and Mara was already going for his lightsaber as she came at him again. Apparently, she hadn't found a way to hide her own under her gown, but his would do the job just as nicely.

"Skywalker--!"

He caught her hand as it darted toward his belt, laughter bubbling up out of him in spite of the clear and present danger that was glaring at him with emerald eyes, just centimeters away.

"Relax, Jade, I was just teasing you." He grinned at her lopsidedly. "Learn to take a joke."

She sputtered, at a loss for words. He _was_ feeling brave tonight. It was highly irregular and highly agitating. After all, she'd come out here to cheer him up, not to become the butt of his jokes. And yet, he was laughing, and the shadows that had plagued him earlier were completely gone. He was just a farm boy now, plain ol' Wormie from Tatooine. And that, she realized, was the version of him she liked best.

The version she liked quite a bit better than best, in fact.

_Sith_. His odd mood must be rubbing off on her. She wasn't thinking clearly, wasn't acting like herself, as evidenced by the fact that Luke was still alive. Still standing very close to her. And still in firm yet gentle possession of her wrist.

Slowly, her eyes came up to his face. The laughter had faded from his eyes as he sensed the abrupt shift in her emotions. He took a breath, his whole body seized by tingles as he too became aware of the extended contact. His fingers loosened, but rather than letting go, they gently stroked the tender skin there.

"Well," she retorted weakly, feeling oddly breathless, "it's not funny."

"No," he agreed softly, finding himself moving closer. His body seemed to have a mind of its own. "It's not."

His fingers left her wrist and trailed up her arm, feather-light. He tugged her hair free, letting it cascade over her shoulders and down her back. Then, very slowly -- giving her time to break free if she chose to do so -- his hands moved down her sides to rest lightly at her waist.

"Luke…" She sounded confused, but her Force-sense was tentatively willing.

"Are you seeing Lando, Mara?" he asked. The question had a sort of burning importance just this moment -- he had to know, needed to know, with a fierceness that surprised him.

"No. I meant to tell you, it's just a cover for--"

She never got to finish. His arms slid around her waist as hers instinctively came up to encircle his neck, and he stilled her lips with his own. Gently, and then with more pressure as she began to respond in spite of herself.

He wasn't prepared for the backlash he got from the Force -- her surprise, her confusion, and her pleasure mixing with his as their bond enhanced the intensity of their kiss. The she made a small noise of bliss and he was lost.

No, not lost. He was hers.

He held the kiss for a moment longer, one hand sliding up her back and into those glorious waves of red-gold hair. Then, with great reluctance, he pulled back. Leaning his forehead against her, he tried to catch his breath. She was intoxicating. Too much more of that, and he wouldn't remember his courtly Jedi manners. Although…

"Want to go on a date?" he asked softly. She paused, a little surprised by the invitation, and then he felt her touch of amusement. Maybe she should make him squirm a bit. Then again, if he could kiss like _that…_

"Going about it a bit backwards, aren't we?"

He pulled back to look into her eyes, grinning like a little boy. "I didn't hear you complaining."

She tugged on his hair, but she was smiling too. "Oh, I suppose I could manage to suffer through _one_ evening."

"No way, Jade." Somberly, he shook his head. "We both know one evening isn't going to be enough."

"Aren't we confident," she murmured, and had the pleasure of watching him blush all over again. "But you're right."

"I am?" He seemed surprised at her willingness to admit it.

"This time." She wasn't about to concede more than that. "You're on, Skywalker. But first…"

Threading her fingers into his tawny hair, she drew him back down for another kiss. And smiled at the burst of elation that she felt through their bond. _One's not going to be nearly enough._


End file.
